Episode 19 - Elsie Dinsmore

Welcome back to the Forgotten Library; as always, I’m Nikki Gee. Today’s selection is the start of a two-for-one! We’re taking a look at the first two books in a very long children’s book series named after its priggish protagonist, one Elsie Dinsmore. And when I say long, my lovely listeners, I mean it; the original series spanned 28 volumes.

I found this series quite at random, actually. I enjoy reading about the Chicago World’s Fair, and years ago, I found a book called Elsie at the World’s Fair on Project Gutenberg. When I started reading it, however, I noticed that I was dropped right in the middle of a bunch of characters that had not been introduced to me, the reader, at all. I looked it up and realized that there were several books ahead of this one, and that was my introduction to Elise Dinsmore.

Now, I have not read the entire series, but I have read a good chunk of it, and oh boy, is it a doozy. The two we’re discussing today were originally one longer manuscript, but apparently, the publisher split it into two books. We’ve got obnoxiously pious children, racism, and – a content warning perhaps for some – parental abuse (mainly emotional) and some questionable interactions with an adult and child (not sexual or explicit, just icky).

However, in their time (and even afterward) these books were best-sellers, and made their author, Martha Finley, a household name – at least with common Christian readers, as critics never seemed to touch her books at all.

Martha Finley’s ancestors came to America from Ireland; her paternal grandfather served under George Washington in the Revolutionary War and was given large tracts of land in Pennsylvania and Ohio. Her father served in the War of 1812 and became a doctor. Her maternal grandmother was related to the Duke of Ormond. Her parents were first cousins, and her mother died shortly after giving birth to her, and her father later remarried.

Martha was educated at home by private tutors, and then eventually at private schools. She was very immersed in the church and her father was an elder in the Presbyterian church like some of his forebears. He died when she was twenty-two, and Martha became a teacher to support herself, as well as started writing short stories for children’s sections of Sunday-school papers. These became popular under her pen name, Martha Farquharson; her family didn’t want her publishing under her own name. She also began writing books, mostly for children but a few novels for adults as well. Over fifty standalone books, as well as the 28 in the aforementioned Elsie Dinsmore series, and a 7-book series about a character named Mildred Keith, who I think is supposed to be a distant relation of Elsie’s.

Despite what you might think about the content of the books, that’s a huge output for one person in a lifetime; apparently, Martha became ill and was laid up in bed a lot and could no longer teach. She never married. So she supported herself with her writing. After a long illness that was not disclosed to the public, Martha Finley died at home in 1909; she was 80 years old.

The Elsie series was the most popular girl’s series of the 19th century, the first volume selling nearly 300,000 in its first 10 years of publication, and over 5 million copies in the 20th century. And then in 1999, some new publications emerged, which condensed and adapted some of the books from the original series together, and changed some other stuff around. We’ll discuss this a bit later. For now, let’s get to the books!

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We open on a school-room at “Roselands,” which, while the author describes it as a “mansion,” is actually a plantation; we’re in the South, pre-Civil War – let’s get that out of the way from the jump. It’s a light and bright section of the house, there are flower gardens, and even the schoolroom is cheerful-looking and inviting. Miss Day, the governess, is here with six pupils. Enna, the youngest of the family, is not good with lessons, so Miss Day is exasperated with her and tells her to go; then the governess tells them all that she is going to leave them for an hour, and if upon her return their lessons are perfectly recited, they will be allowed to go to the fair as reward. One of the boys, Arthur, is excited, but Miss Day tamps that down rul fast. She addresses each of the children in turn about their specific lessons, lingering on Elsie, who is 8 years old at the beginning of this series, and saying that her math and geography lessons must be perfect, and she is to have no ink blots in her copybook. She answers “meekly” and goes back to her work.

After Miss Day leaves, Arthur, who is an annoying child, becomes noisy and rambunctious, and sets his sights on Elsie. He tickles her neck with a feather to distract her, and she pleads with him to stop. Elsie struggles over her lessons, you see, and her math isn’t coming out right. Arthur says that she should just put down the answers if she already has them, but Elsie says that wouldn’t be honest. She puts it aside and tries her geography, but Arthur continues to be a pest. Elsie is near tears as she once again asks him to leave her be so she can study. One of the other, slightly older children, Louise, tells her to take her book out on the veranda and she’ll call Elsie to come back in when they hear Miss Day coming back. Elsie won’t do that, either, because it’s disobedience. Already, the reader can see why this child is frustrating.

And then, of course, the ultimate issue: Arthur bumps Elsie’s elbow, causing her to spill a large blot of ink all over her copybook. Elsie bursts into tears that now she will be denied the ride because her book is messy. It is here I set up a Cry Count (just for Elsie; make your wagers now). Arthur feels a bit sorry, so he offers to tear out that page and fix up her math so it is done right. Elsie thanks him, but she says that it’s not honest, and she would rather be punished with staying home than be deceitful. Arthur shrugs and says, Okay, whatever, I tried, and even Louise is annoyed with her obnoxious scruples. Elsie, still crying a bit, bends back over her work again.

Miss Day returns, and of course, makes Elsie come up first with her lessons. The governess finds fault with her recitation, and of course, her messy copybook. The narrator tells us that Miss Day was “always more severe with Elsie than the others,” and that we’ll find out why shortly. The governess sends her back to her seat, telling her that, of course, no ride for her today, and if she doesn’t make her page neat again, there will be no dinner, either. Damn, harsh.

Elsie cries as she goes back to her desk. Cry count: 2 Arthur watches this whole thing, kind of uncomfortable but decides not to say anything. His sister, Lora, tries to compel him to say something but he won’t, so Lora tells the teacher what happened in her absence. Arthur doesn’t confess, but looks guilty, so Miss Day punishes him as well. Lora is surprised that Elsie is still punished, as it wasn’t her fault, but Miss Day states that she will NOT be dictated to by her pupils, and that is that.

Elsie, meanwhile, despite her meek exterior, is trying to combat the feelings of anger and indignation that she is currently feeling. Everyone in the family feels that Elsie has no spirit, but she knows she has a bit of a quick temper and it is a trial to her. See, here already I take umbrage with this. While she doesn’t want to lash out and make it worse, it is TOTALLY normal for her to be angry at her teacher for being an absolute bitch. It wasn’t her fault that her book got ink on it; Arthur DID do that. And yeah, she could have had him do the math for her, but then she wouldn’t learn it herself and that is the point (taking the honesty out of the equation). Feeling your feelings is allowed. Also, she is EIGHT years old. Come on.

Mrs. Dinsmore sails in to see if the children are ready for the ride. She asks what is wrong with Elsie, and Miss Day tells her that Elsie is a failure, and Arthur’s part in it. Mrs. Dinsmore excuses Arthur’s behavior and lets him come with her, anyway; Lora asks if Mrs. Dinsmore will intercede for Elsie, too, but Mrs. D. says that Elsie is not her child, and therefore, she will defer to Miss Day, who surely knows best in this instance. And of course, Miss Day will not yield.

They leave, and Miss Day rips into Elsie again, who has been trying to hold down her anger at her desk, and therefore, had put down her head. Day accuses her of “idling” and asks rhetorical questions, which, when Elsie doesn’t answer, causes the governess to grab her arm and shake her. So Elsie says a little curtly that she has NOT been idling and she’s being punished unfairly, which the governess rewards with a box on the ear. Elsie is crying so hard she cannot see. (3). A “servant” comes in to announce that the carriage is waiting – and again, come on, Finley; it’s not a servant, it is an enslaved person, and you have given them the standard-of-the-time ignorant way of speaking.

Everyone leaves, and Elsie is alone. She takes out her pocket-sized Bible and reads some verses about taking suffering patiently. And she knows that she has not done this, so she’s not following Jesus how she should, so she bursts into tears (4). She hears a kind voice behind her and feels a hand on her shoulder; this is Rose Allison, who has been visiting with the family. Rose asks Elsie to tell her why she is so sad, and Elsie says that the worst of it is the fact that she didn’t bear the injustice patiently. Rose is surprised, as she didn’t think anyone in the house was devoted to Christianity like herself. They quote more verses to each other, and Rose is happy that she loves Jesus, too, so that they can love one another in Christ, as you do, I guess. And the child is joyous that someone will love her, as there is no one here that loves her except “poor old mammy.” Chloe, Elsie’s nurse, who is an enslaved woman, is the one who taught her about Jesus; Elsie’s mother died shortly after giving birth, and being religious, she entreated Chloe to teach the child to love Jesus. Elsie, after explaining all of this, shows Rose her mother’s miniature, which she wears on a necklace and keeps close to her heart always.

We learn through dialogue that the other children are her aunts and uncles, as her father, Horace, is their older brother. Elsie’s father has been away since her birth, and so she has never met him. She hopes that one day he will come home and love her. Rose and Elsie make a Bible study date for the mornings during her visit, and then Rose goes to find her friend, Adelaide, who is the oldest daughter of the family. (The author says that Adelaide and Rose are near each other in age, but doesn’t explicitly mention a number).

We get some more exposition through dialogue between Adelaide and Rose about Elsie’s story. Horace, her father, was a bit wild in his youth; at seventeen, he fell in love with Elsie’s mom, also named Elsie. Elsie was a wealthy orphan and about fifteen or sixteen. Horace talked her into getting married quietly and privately, and once the Dinsmores found out, all hell broke loose. Even though Elsie had money, her father had been a tradesman, so that type of wealth didn’t sit well with the Dinsmore clan – apparently, only slave-holding plantation wealth is true and real wealth. Mr. Dinsmore sent his son away to college in the North. Elsie’s guardian was apparently also opposed to the match, so any letters between them were intercepted, and the family told Elsie that her husband was dead. She obviously was pregnant with her daughter before her husband was sent away for good (and presumed dead), so she gave up on life shortly after little Elsie’s birth. Elsie was brought up mainly by Chloe, and also Mrs. Murray, an old Scotch housekeeper, until her guardian’s death four years prior, which is how the three of them came to live at Roselands. Horace hasn’t been home since, and never mentions his child in his letters.

The children in the house are a bit jealous of her, because of course, Mary Sue, I mean, Elsie, is extremely beautiful, and of course, will be very wealthy when she comes of age. Mrs. Dinsmore says that Elsie will eclipse her own daughters someday. Rose thinks that is an odd way to think of your granddaughter, but Elsie is really a step-granddaughter, as Mrs. Dinsmore is not Horace’s mother.

Have you got all that? Haha.

Anyway, then they move on to the fact that most people think of Elsie as a meek little milquetoast, which she is, but she does have a spark of temper in her, and they find it odd that she grieves over it for days like it’s some great fault, and she’s always carrying around that dull-as-dishwater Bible, too. This incites Rose to proclaim that the Bible is the best book ever, and that she is a very great sinner, etc., etc. This last bit astonishes Adelaide, because what has Rose really done in her young life that could be as bad as all that? But no, Rose says, every person is a horrid sinner, especially those who turned their back on Jesus for so long as she did.

Adelaide says that religion is too gloomy for a young person like Rose, and Rose says that she didn’t find true happiness until she found Jesus.

Cry Count for this chapter: 4.

After Rose leaves, Elsie prays and asks for forgiveness for her sins, and then does all of her work perfectly before Miss Day returns. She can’t find fault with it, which pisses her off, and she’s a bit of a bitch. However, Elsie apologizes to her teacher, for her poor work as well as the saucy remarks she made. And Miss Day says that she SHOULD be sorry and she honestly should have been punished worse than she was. Elsie cries (5).

Later, she goes to Rose’s room and reads the Bible with her for a bit and they pray together. Then, Chloe comes to put Elsie to bed. Our author takes pains to describe Chloe as a very nice “colored” woman, “beautifully neat in her snow-white apron and turban.” Because otherwise, what? You would picture Chloe as slovenly and dirty? Elsie introduces Chloe to Rose and they speak about Jesus; then, in Elsie’s room, as Chloe is helping her get into her nightclothes, they talk about how sweet Rose is. Elsie reads a chapter of the Bible to Chloe as she gets herself ready for bed (she shares the room with Elsie) and then Elsie prays for both of them.

The next morning, Elsie goes to Rose’s room before breakfast and they do more Bible study. Rose spends the whole fall and winter at Roselands, and she and Elsie spend quite a bit of time together, becoming quite attached. Elsie is quite a lonely child and starved for affection ordinarily, as we have seen. And yet, despite her travails, Elsie was the happiest person in the family, because she knew Jesus.

But even having Jesus for a bosom friend could not stop the longing Elsie had to see her father, and the fervent wish that he would love her.

In the timeline, however, it is the next day, and Adelaide invites Elsie to go with her and Rose to the fair as long as her lessons are done. Elsie goes early to the schoolroom and then Arthur comes in, seemingly bothered by something; she asks him what is the matter and he’s a bit rude to her. Her lessons excellent, she goes to the fair. Upon her return, she goes to the schoolroom to retrieve something and hears her name mentioned in conversation on the veranda. Arthur apparently is in want of some money and Lora says that Elsie is probably the only one who would probably help him out of his predicament, but considering how he’s been treating her, he should be ashamed to even ask.

He is sighing dramatically out on the porch, so Elsie goes and asks him, and apparently he wants money for a little model of a ship. It’s five dollars, which he doesn’t have because he spent all of his allowance, and can’t get anymore until next month. And no one else will lend him money. Elsie nearly gives him the money right then and there, but then says she has to think about it. Arthur is immediately shitty to her because she didn’t jump right away, but she says she’ll decide by the next morning. He mutters that she’s stingy under his breath.

What Elsie does next is actually very smart – she gives the money to someone else to buy the ship for Arthur. Of course, the scene itself is a bit painful, as the enslaved man’s name is Pompey and of course, he does the requisite minstrel-show-perception of black people’s speech and all. Elsie is so generous as to let Pompey have a half dollar for himself for the trouble of the extra errand.

Arthur is shitty to her during tea, as well, as presumably he thinks that she’s not just going to hand over her wallet. She engages Chloe after the ship is delivered to put it on Arthur’s desk with the card she has just written up.

Of course, Arthur is all sunshine and roses the next morning when he finds the ship, and wants to pay her back, but she refuses. He apologizes for teasing her and for quite a while afterward, stops tormenting her. She still gives up her own wishes to Enna and the rest, though, and her grandfather continually states that she can’t be Horace’s child, as she never stands up for herself.

Adelaide and Rose discuss this one day. Adelaide considers it cowardly, but Rose disagrees, saying that to give up one’s principles is, but not one’s own wishes. Here Adelaide mentions something that we will come back to later: that Elsie has sometimes made Mrs. Dinsmore angry by refusing to play with Enna on the Sabbath.

Spring arrives and soon Rose is scheduled to return home. Elsie had secretly been knitting a purse for her for several weeks, wanting to give it to her as a going-away present. It was almost done when Enna comes in and spies it, demanding it be given to her. Elsie tries to reason with the child and tell her it is a gift for Rose, but she can make her another one just like it. But no, of course, the spoiled little brat wants THAT one, and if she doesn’t give it to her, Enna is going to run to her momma and tell on her. Which she does.

Mrs. Dinsmore flies into the room, calling Elsie a “good-for-nothing hussy” (remember, Elsie is 8 and all she did was deny a six-year-old child a fucking knitted PURSE) and telling her that SHE is mistress of the house and Elsie will do what she says. Elsie can buy one for Rose – um, so why can’t YOU buy one for your little bitch of a daughter, hm? Elsie is a mean and stingy girl because she won’t give the little brat something ONE fucking time.

Enna gets her way and runs off with the purse. Elsie cries (6). Chloe tries to soothe her by saying she can go to the city and buy the prettiest one she can find for Rose, but Elsie wanted it to be her own work and now she is out of time. Chloe remembers that Elsie was also working on one for her father, and the family wouldn’t send it for her, so why doesn’t she finish up that one and make another one for her father when he eventually comes home? As Pompey can’t go, Chloe takes on the errand herself, to buy the beads and such to finish the purse in time. (Chloe’s only duties relate to Elsie’s wants and needs).

Chloe comes back and thinks that Elsie should probably go to bed, and can finish the purse tomorrow, but just then, a note is delivered from Rose, saying that she will be leaving the very next day now, because of the sailing schedule. Elsie cries (7). But she dashes her tears away quickly so that she can finish the purse.

The next morning, she spends some time with Rose before breakfast. They do their last little Bible study, and then Elsie sighs that her father is never coming home. Rose promises to write letters to her to keep in touch. Soon after the meal, Rose has to go. She leaves her farewell to Elsie for last. After she leaves, Elsie runs to her room and cries (8).

Chapter cry count: 4

A week later, Elsie gets her first letter from Rose, and her first letter ever, actually. Adelaide also has news; Elsie’s father, Horace, is sailing back to America. She wonders aloud if he will love her. Considering he never really asks about you, child . . . Elsie is determined to be a good little student, so that her father will be pleased.

The author sees fit to tell us that Horace is a moral man, and pays lip service to religion, considering Christians as hypocrites. He is aware that his child has devoted herself to her religion, and this, coupled with letters from his family describing Elsie as disagreeable and troublesome, had prejudiced him against his daughter.

Soon, the day arrives that Horace returns home; he is very handsome and young looking, and is astonished by her appearance. His very first words to a daughter he has never seen are “What! This great girl my child? Really it is enough to make a man feel old.” (If I’ve done my math right, he should be about 25 years old). Then he kisses her on the lips, but coldly. Elsie, of course, is struggling with a wave of feelings, and is trembling, so instead of trying to assuage her, or ask her what is the matter, he says he’s not an ogre and she can go, if she’s so terrified.

Well, that’s certainly a way to ingratiate yourself with the kidlet, eh wot? Elsie runs to her room and cries (9). Now, I can’t fault her for this one, as she was really looking forward to this, and as annoying as she is as a character, this should be a high moment for her; a wonderful meeting with her father that she has never met before. And it came crashing down because he is an imperious fuckwit.

Chloe is very surprised when she comes in later to see Elsie weeping and heartbroken. She talks to her, and here’s where Finley sees fit to give Chloe uneducated patter except where Scripture is concerned. Apparently, enslaved people are ignorant, in her view, for normal speech, but can memorize God’s word without blemish, or some shit.

Elsie does not go down to tea, claiming headache. Horace hopes aloud that she is not a “sickly” child, and Adelaide says no, she suspects crying brought it on. She had been witness to Elsie’s disappointing first meeting. He’s like, I had no idea my arrival would be so distressing; can she really dislike me so quickly? Adelaide says it’s basically been Elsie’s only wish since she’s known her – to see her father. And Horace is determined to see it in a negative light, but NOT, tellingly, from his first words to her.

Elsie doesn’t see her father at all the next day, and the following day, everyone is made to eat breakfast together and she greets her father very shyly; he says good morning, but goes right back to his paper. She hangs around, wanting to make a connection but is a bit scared of him; Enna, the little annoying brat, comes running in and sits on her brother’s knee, asking him for a kiss. He obeys, then asks, rather pointedly, considering the silent audience, if she’s afraid of him or sorry that he has come home. Fuck you, dude. He sees Elsie’s eyes filled with tears, getting the head pats and such that should be hers, and he thinks that she’s just jealous and he hates jealous people, so he makes a face at her. So she runs from the room, and cries (10). She prays to get rid of her sinful feeling of jealousy.

She shortly is able to control her feelings so she can join the breakfast table with the others. Her father ignores her. She fades into the background over the chatter of the family, as well as one visitor, who has been watching her during the meal. After she leaves, this man, Edward Travilla (we will soon come to know him quite well), asks if the girl is one of his sisters; Horace blushes a bit when he admits that it’s actually his daughter. Travilla says that she seems lovely and sweet. Horace doesn’t answer, just asks if he wants to go riding.

Later, Elsie is practicing at the piano when Travilla returns, and listens to her play. Elsie, of course, says she doesn’t play or sing very well, but Travilla says that she does quite well, and asks her to play and sing some more. Then they chat. Travilla does not realize that Elsie had not met her father previously; he thinks she couldn’t possibly have any affection for him, but she quickly abuses him of that notion. However, than Travilla thoughtlessly asks if she thinks that her father loves her. Which causes her to cry (11). Travilla, to his credit, instantly berates himself for asking such a question and apologizes. He offers to walk her around the garden, and uses all his energies to amuse her and lighten the mood. Travilla is surprised and pleased by her intelligence. He seats her next to himself at dinner and waits upon her and chats to her the whole time.

Later, Travilla has nothing but praise for Elsie, and Horace laughs and essentially says, Maybe you should be her father, as you seem to appreciate her. Travilla says that he ought to love his child, as she is certainly devoted to him. Horace is disbelieving but does help Elsie on her horse as she goes out for a ride. He tells the enslaved young man that is made to accompany her, Jim, that he must take good care of his little girl, which fills Elsie’s heart with happiness. He’s nice to her when she comes back, too. Then he’s busy during the evening, but Travilla finds her and introduces her to his mother. He asks her at one point to play the song she had performed for him that morning, and she is shy and says that she couldn’t do so before so many people. Of course, her father, who has been scarce this whole time, suddenly hears this and says that she must go immediately and do what Travilla asked. Travilla feels bad and says she doesn’t have to do it, but Horace says NO, now HE bids it.

Elsie is embarrassed and her father’s dickishness makes her cry before she can even truly begin the song (12). Her father is mortified and tells her that he is ashamed of her and orders her to her room and bed. She cries herself to sleep (13).

Travilla and his mother are gone, and Horace is cold. The rest of the family make fun of her for not being able to play for the company. Her lessons suffer and Miss Day threatens to tell on her to her father.

Elsie tries to win her father’s affection; she obeys cheerfully when he tells her to do something, but he doesn’t notice her except to command her or to scold her. He seems to be inordinately fond of his annoying little sister, Enna, and puts her on his knee all the time, which seems . . . a little weird to me. But anyway, Elsie keeps seeing this affection bestowed on someone else, and it makes her hide in her room and cry (14). Chloe says that she needs to be like Enna, and just jump on her father’s knee, but Elsie says she wouldn’t dare to do it.

Chapter cry count: 6.

About a week later, Elsie’s father is suddenly pleasant to her at breakfast, seating her beside him at the table, and begins the task of limiting her food. She’s no longer allowed meat except at dinner, no hot bread, and no coffee. The last bit doesn’t seem as odd to me, because I wasn’t allowed coffee when I was a youngster, either, not for the “stunt yer growth” fallacy, but because it was a bit too much caffeine for a small body. So, Elsie’s new breakfast consists of dry, cold toast, stewed fruit, and a tumbler of milk. He claims that English children are not allowed butter until they are ten or eleven and he thinks this is a wonderful plan and intends to follow it. [I cannot find where Martha Finley might have gotten this fuxored idea, so if you know, please tell me]. Elsie is fond of all the other good things to eat at table, and it’s a trial to give them up, but her father is being nice to her and concerned about her welfare, so she is happy. Arthur is a bit mocking when he asks if Elsie is happy her papa is home considering he gives her bread and water; Elsie defends Horace and says she can have milk and cream and fruit or eggs or cheese or honey, and meat at dinner; and besides, she’d rather do without if she can have a father to love her. Arthur, for all his faults, is right when he says, essentially, that Horace’s love isn’t worth that much.

Horace overhears this exchange, which upsets Elsie enough to run out to the garden; he rounds on Arthur and tells him to stop being a shit to Elsie. He calls Elsie out of her school-room and Elsie is nervous to meet with her father; he sees that she had been crying (15) and he calls her out on it, saying she cries too much and it is a very babyish habit. Now, I don’t disagree completely, but ELSIE IS EIGHT YEARS OLD. He invites her to go with him to Ion, Travilla’s house. We find out on the carriage ride that Travilla and Horace have been friends since childhood. He tells her a story about how he was almost shot when hunting squirrels once, which makes her sad that he might not have been her papa, then. Whatever.

Elsie spends most of the day with Mrs. Travilla, Edward’s mom, who is a Christian, and tries to give Elsie some advice without really addressing the elephant in the room, as it were. Then Travilla comes in and invites Elsie to see his garden, and she is quite taken with it. Later, after a meal together, she ends up in the library, and Travilla comes in and teases her that he’s made a deal with Horace to keep her with him, and that HE’s her daddy now. Elsie thinks he’s serious and freaks the fuck out. Her father is ashamed that she would take this whole thing seriously (again, she is a little naïve CHILD, Horace, and has been a bit sheltered). Travilla unabashedly keeps trying and she rejects him. Remember this conversation.

The next day, Horace sees his daughter walking alone and asks her why she is disobeying him, but she says that she was accompanied by her aunts until just a few minutes ago when they were close to home. He asks where they were and when he finds out that they had cut through the meadow to get home, he says she is not allowed to go there again unless he gives her permission. She asks him why and he tells her, essentially, because he says so and she should never ask why, just obey. Elsie cries (16) and says she didn’t mean to be naughty, and he reproves her again for crying.

Elsie’s friend Lucy, along with her brother, Herbert, and their mother, have come to stay for a week at Roselands. Herbert is disabled and can’t walk very far; he also has a limp. Elsie was very kind to him when they last visited months ago, telling stories to distract him and easily fetching him things.

Lucy tries to give Elsie verboten foods at tea and Elsie cheerfully refuses; Lucy says that she would pitch a fit if her father tried to stop her from eating whatever she wanted, and Horace says that Elsie knows better than that.

A few days later, all the younger kids go out, and Herbert, who tires easily, opts to rest on a grassy bank, and Elsie and Lucy stay with him. He has a bow and arrow with him, so he practices with that and Elsie gamely retrieves his arrows for him. One goes into the meadow, and Elsie forgets her father’s rule and goes after it. Once she gets back, she says she must go back home RIGHT NOW and is distressed at what her father will say. She tells no one why she needs to go right then, just runs home. She runs about looking for her father and admits to him that she had been in the meadow, but she didn’t mean to, she just forgot. He is VERY pissed and says that is never an excuse, and if she has such a bad memory as all that, he will find means to strengthen it – I doubt he means mental exercises. Elsie cries (17) because she knows she’s going to be punished. He wants all the details so that he knows how severely to punish her; after hearing the story, he realizes that she came to him of her own volition to confess, and he won’t be too punitive this time, but she must remember that forgetfulness is never an excuse. She is to go to bed right now and not to leave it until the next morning – it’s the middle of the afternoon, by the way. She may have a slice of bread or a cracker for her supper, but that is all. Elsie apologizes while crying again (18). He says that he forgives her and is not angry right now, and he kisses her. On the lips.

The next morning, she’s up early and sees her father and some of the enslaved folks standing around something on the ground. It’s a big rattlesnake, now dead. It was in the meadow. So now, he asks her, do you see why I told you to stay away from there? I don’t understand why the fuck you couldn’t have told her the first time. There wouldn’t have been any attempts at rationalizing it. She would have understood and I’m willing to bet wouldn’t have easily forgotten if she was picturing a big scary snake waiting out there for her. Horace is a douchebag.

After breakfast, she tells Lucy where she had been last night, and why, and Lucy says she’s glad that her father is not as strict as Elsie’s is.

Most of the house is going on a picnic in the woods, and Elsie asks her Aunt Adelaide if she is also allowed to go. Adelaide presumes so, but when they ask Horace, he says no, she needs to stay home and study. Lucy says she should just go anyway, but Elsie says she needs to obey her father. Lucy says she should try coaxing him, but she says no, and Lucy leaves. Meanwhile, Adelaide says that her brother should let the child go; she thinks that he seems to take pleasure in messing with his own child’s feelings. Horace is like, this is MY kid and I’ll do what I like with her, thankyouverymuch. Adelaide says that he should have told her earlier, as the kid was so excited about going and it’s a bit cruel to cancel her plans last minute. Horace says that he was going to let her go, when he was also going to be attending, but now he has business to attend and can’t go; he doesn’t feel that the rest of the family would take care of her properly, therefore he doesn’t feel comfortable letting her out of his sight. He thinks that if there were an accident they would forget all about her, and dude, seriously, I think you worry too much about bullshit. I think there’s a term for this – catastrophizing.

Of course, Elsie was only privy to Horace’s NO, so she feels a bit rebellious against him, especially as she thinks this is an extended punishment for yesterday even after he said he had forgiven her. She goes to her lessons, and Miss Day is even more of a bitch than usual because she had to stay behind, too. Elsie is bored at dinner because no one speaks to her; it’s just the governess, her father, and the guy with whom he’s doing business. He can’t take a ride with her, either, but tells her she must go alone, with the enslaved boy, Jim, for company. She asks Chloe if Pompey is going into the city and as he is, she asks if Chloe will give him some money from her to buy a pound of candy, as she missed out on all the treats at the picnic.

Lucy comes back and regales her with tales of the day, and in the process, says some uncharitable things about Elsie’s father and Elsie does not correct her. They continue talking sotto voce at the table, until Horace tells his daughter to shut up as she speaks way too much for a child her age. Elsie tries to stop Lucy from talking shit about her father, and Lucy’s like okay, but I wish you were my sister so you could have a kind papa like I do. OH, but Elsie LOVES HER PAPA SO MUCH, because she doesn’t know any better.

Meanwhile, the candy arrives and unfortunately, the enslaved person asks if Horace knows where Elsie is. He takes it, and when Elsie finds out that her father has it, she decides that she’ll just do without it, then. Lucy takes it upon herself to coax Horace to give Elsie her candy. This angers him and he calls Elsie and asks why she sent Lucy to do her bidding; Elsie says that she is afraid of him, and he says that she doesn’t have reason to fear him – he doesn’t beat her or abuse her, after all. Right, because blowing hot and cold towards your kid, withholding affection and food, and telling her that she’s babyish and that you are ashamed of her in public isn’t abuse, right? He says she cannot have the candy and he forbids her to buy or eat anything without his permission. Then he yells at her because he told her not to be outside in the night air, and she said she was only standing in the doorway; he considers this disobedient and once again, sends her immediately to bed. Arthur, trying to start shit, tells his brother that Elsie thinks he is a tyrant – which is not what she said, Lucy did. Horace says that he doesn’t believe him.

Elsie is in her room and reviewing her day and her conscience pricks her because she felt angry with her father, and let someone speak ill of him and didn’t defend him – honey, there’s no defense, he’s a prick. Elsie cries (19). Chloe is distressed to see her so upset and quotes scripture to her, then gives her a hug and tries to calm her down. Elsie can’t sleep so she asks if Chloe would find out if her father is busy, as she feels like she can’t sleep, presumably because he’s mad at her. He is playing chess, though, so Elsie cries herself to sleep (20).

Lucy comes in next morning, her last day at Roselands. She tries to talk shit about Horace again, but Elsie says her father has the right to do whatever he wants with her. Later, Lucy’s father comes to take them all back and says that he will talk to Horace about letting Elsie come back with them for a week at their place, Ashlands. Elsie thinks he will not let her go. Elsie greets her father and he is cold to her; despite his words to Arthur the previous evening, he started thinking ill of her. Because he is a fucking douche. He knows Arthur is a malicious asshole and tells tales, and yet, you believe him?

After breakfast, Lucy and Elsie go to a little room off the library where there is a cabinet of curiosities that Horace had picked up in his travels, and of course, the troublemakers, Enna and Arthur, come, too. Elsie begs them to leave because she knows they will not be careful, and Arthur says he has just as much a right to be in there as her, and pushes her. She catches at a table to stop herself from falling and this knocks over a priceless vase and shatters it. Of course, Arthur immediately blames Elsie, and Horace says that she is a troublesome, careless child. He sends her to her room to await further punishment.

Lucy summons all her courage to go to Horace’s office to tell him the true story. He tells Lucy that Elsie need not stay in her room anymore, then. Elsie is crying (21). But she dries her tears and joins in the games outside.

Later, the Carringtons extend their invitation to Ashlands and Horace says no. He had decided privately that Lucy is a bad influence and doesn’t want Elsie in her presence much. Mrs. Carrington is sad, as she feels that Elsie is such a good influence on her own children, and Horace says that she is actually a pretty naughty child and needs lots of correction. You fucko. He doesn’t let Lucy talk privately with Elsie as they take their leave of each other, either. He overhears Lucy whisper to Elsie that her father is mean, and Elsie says that Papa is always right and she doesn’t deserve to go, anyway.

After they leave, Horace requests her presence and she is frightened, expecting punishment, but he wants to begin giving her her monthly allowance – her grandfather used to, but now he has taken control over it, and upped her amount from $8 to $10, but she has to account for every penny of it. As practice, he has her tote up everything from the previous month in the little book he gives her, and he approves of it, except the candy. He thinks candy is bad, mmkay, for everyone, and he wants her strong and healthy, not a “miserable dyspeptic.” He asks if she really had wanted to go to Ashlands, and she did, but he tells her that Lucy is no good for her. She says he knows best and leaves.

He thinks about the other stuff she had purchased the previous month – it was mainly gifts for others and some craft type stuff, but really nothing for herself. He thinks that she is so generous, but then of course, because he is an asshole, he follows up that thought with, eh, it’s only one month’s worth, that doesn’t really tell us anything. She seems submissive – but that conversation with Lucy might have been just for show because I might have been listening. So, the balance of his thoughts tips once again into uncharitable, and he is, once again, cold to her when he sees her later in the day.

Chapter cry count: 7

A week later, Arthur, Elise, Walter, and Enna are going for a walk, and Elsie spies a gold chain coming out of Arthur’s jacket. She recognizes that it’s her grandfather’s watch and she implores him to put it back before it gets broken. He’s all, Screw you, I’ll do what I want. She knows that grandfather didn’t give him permission to take it because it’s very valuable, and Arthur says that if it is that important, he shouldn’t have left it lying on a table for me to take. Elsie says that if something happens to it, she will not lie for him, and he sneers at her goody-goodyness. She worries about what to do: all the adults are not at home, so she can’t appeal to any of them; she could go home herself and not be a witness to any incident, but that would be disobeying her father because he told her she must go on a walk with the other children; she wishes she could induce Arthur to give her the watch for safekeeping, but these requests just get her sneers and sarcasm.

Of course, Arthur climbs a tree and the watch falls out of his pocket; the crystal front has broken and the back is now dented. The other kids are worried about what “papa” will say and Arthur says that if any of them tell on him – looking at Elsie especially – he will make them regret it. Elsie says that he’s going to know SOMETHING happened to the watch, but he doesn’t care if someone else gets punished, of course, so long as it isn’t him.

He goes back to the house and puts the watch back where he found it on his father’s table. Then he takes his younger brother, Walter, aside and bribes him with his new riding whip to tell their father that Jim, the enslaved youngster who accompanies Elsie on her rides, broke the watch. Wally hesitates, so Arthur also threatens him with a h aunting; he claims a ghost visits him and he’ll just send him to Wally’s bed one of these nights. Wally is a little scaredy-cat, so he readily agrees. Arthur goes to Enna next and threatens or persuades her to tell a tale as well, but we aren’t privy to this conversation.

Meanwhile, Elsie has been hiding in her room, worrying about receiving a summons from her grandfather. However, he and his wife are still out for the day when tea-time rolls around, so she goes to the meal; her father notices something is off about her, but she tries to convince him that she is fine. After tea, she goes right to her room again.

Mr. Dinsmore comes back later and pretty much immediately sees the damaged watch; knowing that Arthur has a propensity for this sort of thing, he rages through the house in search of him. Of course, his wife, always thinking everyone blames Arthur for everything, doesn’t believe it. Dinsmore senior calls everyone into the room, but his sights are set on Arthur first, who, of course, denies it. He claims that Jim was up in a tree with it and he’s the one who dropped it – now, why would you think that this young boy would have the time to climb a tree? Dinsmore says that if this is true, Jim is getting the whipping of his life and will be sent out to work on the plantation. Enna claims she saw Jim, too, as does Walter, but they’re both a little more reluctant to say this to their father.

Elsie is still up in her room while this is going on, and then Chloe comes in, and she is crying hard. Chloe tells her that Jim broke the watch and he’s going to be whipped, and Phoebe, the boy’s mother, is very upset because she knows that he is going to be sent away. Elsie immediately runs from the room and goes to her father; she is crying (22) and begs her father not to let Jim be whipped. Horace says it’s necessary for him to be punished and he can’t interfere. She tells him that Jim didn’t do it, and she can’t tell him who DID, because she won’t tell tales. She quickly assures him that it wasn’t her, either. Horace tells Chloe to go to his father and ask that the whipping be delayed for a few minutes until he comes down. Then he turns to Elsie and says that in order to save Jim a needless punishment, he needs to know the whole story. Elsie says that telling tales is “mean” and she doesn’t like to do it. He says that telling tales under other circumstances might not be a good thing to do; however, this is different, as you are trying to stop an innocent person from suffering. In addition, respect my authority and do it at ONCE.

So she does, albeit reluctantly. Then he takes her hand and says she must repeat this to her grandfather. She doesn’t want to, but he asserts his authority again, so she allows herself to be led into the older man’s presence. She tries again to avoid telling who actually did it, and her father, seeing her glance at Arthur on the other side of the room, promises to protect her. So she admits that it was Arthur who broke the watch and Dinsmore says that he needs a good flogging and to be locked up in his room on bread and water. Elsie tries to intercede and says that she’ll pay for the watch; her father says that she doesn’t have that kind of money – she only has what he chooses to give her until she comes of age. She asks if he will give her the money for the watch, then; and he says no, Arthur needs to be punished, and besides, it’s not really about the money, it’s about respect for property. He promises once again to protect her, but then visitors come, and he dismisses her, just when it looked like he was going to sit her on his knee.

Back in her room, both Phoebe and Jim have come to express their gratitude that she saved Jim from such punishment. Jim, of course, was trying to assert his own innocence, but we know why that wasn’t going well . . .

Elsie descends into an almost romantic reverie after they leave, going over all the near-caresses her father bestowed, and how he had spoken soothingly to her, and what might have happened if those pesky visitors hadn’t come right then. But then it’s bedtime, and she must go, because her father bids her, but she can’t sleep right away, hoping that the future holds instances of him putting her on his knee and kissing her cheek.

This is fucking painful.

The next morning, Horace is, once again, absent towards her, more intent on discussing business with his father. Then he goes to visit Travilla at Ion and doesn’t speak to her again that morning. Arthur leaves Elsie alone for a time, but he’s plotting revenge in secret; the rest of the family, except for her grandfather and Aunt Adelaide, are cold and distant towards her; her father makes sure her wants are attended to, but doesn’t talk to her except to scold her.

One day, Adelaide says to him that he seems to expect perfection on an adult level from a mere child, and slight faults are so very magnified to him. He is haughty in his reply, once again saying, I can parent my own child just fine, thankyew. She says she had no intention of interfering, but notices that he is so very stern with her all the time and she knows how much of a wound that is to Elsie. Her brother throws out the age card, basically saying, I’m ten years older than you so I know better; your impertinence is unwarranted, and he flounces off. (Okay, so that makes Adelaide fifteen, for those playing along at home). After he leaves, Adelaide thinks, Woof, glad you don’t have any authority over ME.

Even though Adelaide’s observations were true, Elsie never complained or blamed her father; she is sure that if she is being punished, it can only be because she is SO very naughty, and she resolves to be just right, all the time, and perfect, because then her father will love her one day.

What his behavior is really doing though, is making her more timid and constrained in his presence; he sees this, not as the effect of his prickishness, but because she cannot possibly care for him all that much. He thinks that she is merely obeying out of fear.

Chapter cry count: 1 (but it seems like she probably did more, but off-stage, haha).

The Dinsmores are going to church, and Horace is concerned that the horses Ajax, the coach-driver, have harnessed are not yet fit for the carriage; they are pretty new and Horace would prefer the older bay horses, but Ajax convinces him that the new horses will be just fine. Horace doesn’t think Elsie should go with them, then, but Elsie not go to church? Perish the thought! Enna wants to sit next to her brother, but Horace says no.

The horses seem to be going pretty fast and Adelaide is concerned; but Horace says that Ajax is a good driver, and if he thought it would have been very dangerous he would have left Elsie at home. They make it to the church for services just fine, but on the way back, the horses freak out a little going around a hill, and they begin a furious gallop. Elsie isn’t even aware of the danger until her father takes her off her seat and holds her tightly between his knees. She tells him not to worry, that God will take care of them. Everyone is pale and frightened and crying, except for Elsie, of course, because she is secure in her faith; if it’s God’s will, well then, she’ll just die and go immediately to Jesus.

A man walking alongside the road saves them by jumping for the horses’ bridle and yanking them to a stop. They walk the rest of the way home.

Later, Lora comes to Elsie and is upset, worrying about her immortal soul. If they had been killed, she knows that Elsie would go straight to heaven, but HER? She’d be in the torment the minister spoke about that morning in his sermon. How was she not afraid? Elsie says, because Jesus. Was Elsie afraid for the rest of them? Lora asks, as she knows that they don’t even pretend to be good Christians. Elsie admits that it happened so quickly that she only prayed for papa and herself, but of course, is very thankful that everyone was spared. Lora says she needn’t look like she had done something so wicked – the rest of the family has treated her so poorly it would be expected. But she wants to know how to become a Christian, so Elsie tells her that she needs to be in earnest and seek Jesus and she will find him. Lora asks how do you seek? And Elsie says she needs to believe in the Lord. Accept Jesus’ gift, trust and love him, and she will be saved. Oh, and also repent. Lora spends the rest of the afternoon listening to Elsie’s proselytizing, until tea-time.

Elsie goes to tea happy that her father must love her; after all, he was so concerned for her welfare during that scary carriage ride. He is kind to her and pets her head and asks how she is, and she wants to tell him how much she loves him, but she doesn’t dare do so in front of the entire family. He’s more affectionate for a day or two, but then he lapses into coldness and sternness again.

A few days later, she’s out in the garden, when she comes upon a hummingbird under glass; thinking that Arthur had put it there to torture it, she frees the bird. She goes to read a book and forgets all about it, until her father comes in later, absolutely pissed that someone had freed the hummingbird – it was a rare type, and he wanted to add it to his “collection of curiosities.” He immediately thinks it was Arthur and doesn’t believe him when he denies it. So, of course, she has to admit to it, which makes her cry (23) when he yells at her. She didn’t mean to do it, and she didn’t know it was his bird. Oh, of course, he says, it’s always an accident, just like the vase (which was an accident, you fuckstick) and now he has lost a rare specimen that took him SO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT to obtain. He asks her if it was for pure love of mischief (which, the kid is annoying af, but nothing she does is for mischief’s sake, that’s his brother’s wheelhouse) and she said she was sorry for it and thought that Arthur had put it there to torture it. He tells her that she had no business meddling, no matter who put it there, and asks her which hand released the bird. For a moment, holding that trembling little hand, he is almost inclined to forgive her, but then he remembers the rarity of what she cost him, and his compassion dies out.

Louise laughs and says that Horace is feeling for a knife to cut off her hand. Horace is pissed that his sister would say such a thing; he never utters a threat he does not intend to carry out, and he never breaks his word. What he was looking for was a handkerchief; he binds her hand and sends her to her room.

She cries (24) while sitting by the window and asks herself why she can’t be good and please her father, instead of always making him mad at her. She prays to do right, and for wisdom to gain her father’s love. She doesn’t want to go to tea, but a message is brought up that she must come down immediately. Her father says that she must come down when the bell rings, ALWAYS, unless she is sick; the next time she is late, he will send her away without any food. She doesn’t want any food; he will not have any pouting or sulking. Her grandfather asks why her hand is tied up; she doesn’t want to answer, but her father forces her to, which makes her cry afresh (25). Horace gets up as if to drag her away from the table, but she promises to be good. She needs to stop crying then, because it’s “shameful” behavior for an 8-year-old girl. Elsie wishes fervently that her father would stop looking at her so that she can stop crying (26). Adelaide distracts her father with a question and then gets the rest of the table involved in a conversation so that the child can gain some composure and eat.

After the meal, she asks her father if she can go to her room; her father says no, and bids her to bring him a book outside. She asks if she can also have a book, but he says NO. So she has to sit on a stool next to his chair, while he reads and ignores her. She “amuses” herself by staring at his face and thinking how handsome he is, and that she loves him SO, SO much. She wonders if he will ever love her. She wants to be good, but why is it so HARD? She hears visitors coming up the street and she jumps from her chair and asks if she can be excused, because she doesn’t want them to see her with her hand tied up. He says, NO, he must be obeyed at all times, and he did not give her leave to get up from her chair; sit back down and don’t move until I tell you to do so. What if she had to pee? This is gonna sound weird to say, considering their relationship, but this kind of smacks of obedience porn, no? Elsie cries (27); her father tells her that the visitor is an old guy on business with her grandfather and he never notices children, so he’s not going to ask about her hand. Elsie grows weary and ends up unconsciously laying her head on her father’s knee, so he wakes her and tells her that she can go to bed. She apologizes for being “naughty” and asks for his forgiveness; he says that he forgives her and then she lingers for a moment, hoping that he might kiss her or give her some token of affection, but she doesn’t say anything. He tells her go to bed; she’s been too naughty so she’s not getting a kiss. Then I guess you don’t really forgive her, then. Hypocrite and liar.

Elsie runs to her room, startling Chloe because she is crying so hard (28); she’s distressed that her father wouldn’t kiss her and sobs that he will never love her, will he?

Chapter cry count: 6.

So Miss Day, the governess, provides progress reports to the parents of her pupils; it has happened once since Horace has come home, and Elsie’s report was satisfactory. Horace was pleased with this, and Elsie overheard these words and it made her happy; but her father didn’t follow up with any words specifically to her, that he was proud of her, and so her little heart was sad again. This has made her distracted, so now her second report was probably not going to be as good; and Arthur, meanwhile, has returned to annoying her so that her copybook is messy again. Miss Day, not liking Elsie anyway, is secretly pleased that she can tell her father that Elsie has been doing poorly. Horace sends for her and she is scared to death.

He asks her why her conduct has been so bad; she cries and doesn’t answer (29). He demands an answer; she pleads for him not to be angry. Of course, he IS angry, and wants to know why she couldn’t study. She says she doesn’t know. He says she will not be punished this time, but if she does this again, she will be severely punished; he sees from her previous work that she is able to do things when she so chooses, and dismisses her without another word.

Elsie wishes she could throw her arms around her father and tell her that she loves him, especially as this is the first time she found herself alone with him in his own room. She lingers, dreaming that he might bestow one kind look, but he coldly ushers her out. She goes to her own room, and cries (30), praying that one day, her father will love her.

She worries that her copybook is never going to be neat again, because Arthur keeps fucking with her. Miss Day doesn’t stay in the room the whole time, and neither do the older girls, so that leaves Arthur free to annoy her and create problems. She doesn’t want to tattle on him and she knows that even if she did, his mother would come to his rescue and cry that others were persecuting him, or some such dramatic nonsense. She prays for a way to fix this, and then Adelaide knocks on her door, asking if she would like to enclose a note to Rose in the letter that she is sending. She sees that Elsie is crying (31), and Elsie pours out the whole story to her, including her father’s threat, and Adelaide promises that she will bring a book or her sewing to the schoolroom and keep an eye out during the writing hour. She does ask why Elsie doesn’t tell her father about Arthur, but she knows it wouldn’t do any good, for the reasons already mentioned. Adelaide leaves the room with the intention of speaking to Horace herself, but he is out, and then brings visitors back with him, and by that time, Adelaide forgets about her notion.

After Adelaide leaves, Elsie works on the purse for her father, which is almost done, and ruminates on her father’s anger, and why she can’t study. Is she really lazy? She must be, and should be punished then. Oh, well, a long summer holiday is coming; just one month more and she’ll be clear of Miss Day and the whole school-room business for a bit. She hopes her father will be pleased with this purse; but she’s already been bad twice this week – first the bird, and now the bad schoolwork. She wonders where she’ll go for vacation; the previous summer she went to Ashlands, Lucy and Herbert’s home, but she knows that she won’t be going there this year, nor will she be able to invite them to her home, because Horace doesn’t like Lucy and thinks she is a bad influence. And she has been so much naughtier since Lucy left, so her father must be right. So he probably will soon punish her severely, whatever that means - and what does that mean? Does he mean he would beat or whip her? No, he can’t mean that! Can he?

The next afternoon, she has finished the purse, but her father is out, so she writes him a little note and goes to his room to put it on his table; he catches her in the act, and she gives him the purse. He is surprised that it is so lovely, as he had no idea she was so good at this type of work. Then he puts her on his knee and asks why she is so afraid of him all the time. She impulsively hugs and kisses him and tells him that she loves him dearly and asks if he will love her, even though she is so bad; she tries so hard to be good. She cries through this whole thing (32), and he says that he does love her. She cries more (33), but this time, because she is so happy. He says that she need not tremble when he talks to her then, as if he were a tyrant. But . . . you ARE.

They go down to tea together, and then everything is pleasant and good for a little while. She doesn’t see her father much, but he is loving when they do meet, and she starts to overcome her fear of him. Meanwhile, Adelaide is present at her lessons, so that Arthur can’t mess with her. Her penmanship is better, no blots in her copybook, and she is happy. But then one day, Miss Day is in a bitchy mood and finds fault with everything Elsie does, even resorts to shaking her when Elsie doesn’t understand the lesson. Elsie starts crying (34) and her governess calls her a dunce and a baby. Elsie says that she DID know the lesson, but she wasn’t given enough time to respond; Elsie gets a bit indignant, and Miss Day grabs her and drags her to her father, telling Horace that Elsie is an impertinent child and contradictory.

For a moment, he looks like he’s going to smack her hand with a ruler, but instead, bids her sit on a stool near his desk and says she will be banned from playing in the afternoon, and only allowed bread and water for dinner. He dismisses the governess from the room, and continues with his work, while Elsie cries (35). He leaves her alone in the room at tea-time, and Pompey brings up a tray with one slice of plain bread and tumblerful of water. She does not eat it, which pisses Horace off further; he forces her to eat every crumb of the bread and every drop of the water while he stands there and watches her.

When she is done, he says that she is never to show this sort of temper again; he is to be obeyed always. She must eat whatever is set before her and do as she is bid. She says nothing, only cries (36). He tells her that she is to sit there until he gives her permission to leave the chair or the room. She asks if she can have her books to study for the next day’s lessons, as well as her Bible, and he agrees to this. He goes to dismiss Jim with Elsie’s horse, as she will not be riding today. Adelaide overhears this and asks what the matter is; he bitchily says that she was impertinent to her governess, so he has her locked up for the rest of the day. Adelaide leans in and tells him that Miss Day is very mean and even abusive to Elsie at times. He’s angry about this for a moment, but then he says, well, in this instance, Elsie admitted to being rude and contradictory, so . . . I had to punish her. Adelaide said, if Else was rude, it was probably after a lot of provocation, and just because she admitted to it, Miss Day probably convinced her to believe she was in the wrong. Horace dismisses this because his child is not stupid. He wonders if he should go to Elsie and ask her for more details, but then resolves that, if she can’t tell him without force, she deserved the punishment she gets; and she was so stubborn about eating that bread.

Horace is such a douche.

He goes back to his room; she’s studying her Bible. She apologizes and asks for forgiveness; he grants it, but coldly, then dismisses her from his presence. Elsie leaves with a very sad heart, fearing that her father will never love her again.

Chapter cry count: 7

Elsie is sad about the one bad mark in her report-book, but her copybook is perfect, so she hopes her father will be pleased with that. She locks her desk after looking over her stuff, and puts the key on the mantelpiece in her room. Arthur, who has been indolent the last few days, decides he wants to look at the book Elsie had been reading that morning; she isn’t around to ask, and of course, Arthur cares not a bit about that, anyway, so he went in her room and looked for the book. It is in her room, but he also sees the key, and realizes he can now exact his revenge for the watch incident. Adelaide would be able to attest that Elsie’s book had been neat, but she is out of town for a few weeks; and the only other person would be Miss Day, who hates Elsie, anyway. So he covers her pages with some inkblots and scribbles and then puts it back in the desk, and returns the key.

Arthur is a little bit guilty, but of course, says nothing, and then Elsie takes her books to her father, not knowing, of course, that her pages are covered. He’s angry once he sees the copybook, and she says that she did not do it. He asks Miss Day and while she says that Elsie “generally” tells the truth, Elsie is the only one who has a key for her desk. Elsie says she doesn’t leave her desk unlocked and the key is always in her room. So Horace says, Okay, investigation over, because you obviously have lied to me. Certainly no one else in this house would have any reason to fuck with you. How dim is this douche? It’s very convenient that he forgets his brother is a troublemaker. He drags his daughter from the room, intent on a severe punishment. Lora knows that this has to be Arthur’s doing, and entreats him to confess, but Arthur will not. Lora hurries to her brother’s room; the door is unlocked and she opens it to see Horace with a riding whip in his hand, and Elsie frightened to death. Lora says she knows Elsie is innocent. He wants proof. Lora says, First of all, when has Elsie ever lied? Secondly, why would she spoil her own book when she knew you would punish her? Thirdly, Arthur is certain to be behind this, because while he won’t confirm it, he sure as hell won’t deny it. And also, she remembers seeing Elsie’s book yesterday and there were no blots and scribbles on it like there are now.

This convinces Horace and he thanks her for saving his daughter from an unjust punishment. I’m more concerned, bubba, that you didn’t think of half of this shit yourself first.

Horace pulls his daughter to him and says that he has been cruelly unjust to her. And she says, Well, you thought I deserved it. And cries (37). He asks if she loves him, and she does. And he says that if he punished her unjustly, he could never forgive himself, especially with the fear that her love would turn to hate. Remember this. Elsie says she could never ever hate him. And cries (38).

He asks about Miss Day and how she treats her, and she begs not to tell tales. Again, child, this is not tattling, the woman is ABUSING you. So she tells him how Miss Day has treated her since the beginning, and Horace is upset that his daughter has been treated in this manner. He wonders aloud why she didn’t tell him this, and she says that he never asked her; he realizes that his stern attitude frightened her into silence and that he will try to do better, but so must she. Buddy, you’re the adult in this situation, you need to figure your shit out first.

They sit for a while with Elsie on his knee and she talks to him more than she ever has, about what makes her happy, and Miss Rose, and so on. And then he sees the chain around her neck and pulls it up to see the miniature of his deceased wife. She asks about her mother, but Horace has to admit they only had a few months together before they were torn apart and Elsie the older went to her grave. Elsie says that they will meet in heaven because she loved Jesus. She asks her father if he loves Jesus, and instead of answering, asks his daughter if she does, and she says, More than her own mortal father. Jesus will always love her, even if no one else does.

The tea-bell rings, but before he sends her downstairs, he asks about her key. She tells him, reluctantly, that she saw Arthur reading a book she had left lying on her mantel, next to her key. Elsie pleads for Horace not to be too angry with Arthur because she’s sure he didn’t know how important the neat copybook was.

Dinsmore senior and his wife are out of the house, so Arthur has no protection from his coddling mama. Horace orders his brother into the library so that he can speak to him; Arthur is sullen and claims that he didn’t do anything wrong. But Horace knows the whole tale, and locks Arthur in his room; and if their father doesn’t whip him, he’ll do it himself. Their father, however, takes Arthur in hand and punishes him as he deserves. By which, I presume, he was whipped.

Chapter cry count: 2.

Elsie’s father is good to her for some time. Elsie grows more beautiful. Horace helps her with her studies and takes her out for walks and does all the things that he should have been doing from the jump. Elsie is very happy and no longer pensive. Miss Day leaves for several months, and Elsie goes traveling with her father, a much-needed vacation for them both. Upon their return, the governess was still delayed which gives Elsie even more happiness. Adelaide remarks to Lora that Elsie is so bright and happy now, and no longer afraid of her father.

It’s the first Sabbath day after their return home, and Elsie is in her room with her Bible, her hymnbook, and Pilgrim’s Progress. Enna, the little brat, bangs on her door and demands to be let in. She says her mother told her to see Elsie for entertainment; Enna has a cold and can’t go out, so she wants to hear a story. Elsie is going to read a bible story and she welcomes Enna to sit and listen, but she wants her to make up a fairy story; she starts scratching up the wood of Elsie’s new chair with her thumb because Elsie won’t do what she wants. Enna sneers that Elsie is a “little old maid” about her stuff, repeating something her mother has said. Little girl, no one wants their things destroyed, even though Elsie is an annoying af milquetoast, I’m with her on this. Leave her shit alone.

Enna insists on the fairy tale. Elsie says I cannot tell it today, because it is the Sabbath and it would be wrong. So Enna runs yelling to her mother, who comes in and tells Elsie that she is selfish to deny her precious pet a fairy story when she is sick. Elsie says that she promised to tell a suitable story for the day, but a fairy story is not one of them. Mrs. Dinsmore recruits her husband and they both say that the child is impertinent for setting up her opinion against her olders and betters. Elsie tries to explain, and her grandfather calls her a hussy and shakes her, then tosses her into a chair and bids her say nothing more until her father gets home. Elsie worries if her father will punish her without listening to her side of the story.

When Horace gets back, his father tells him about Elsie’s conduct, and Horace sends her to his room to wait for him. She tries to speak, but starts crying (39), and a hint of the old Horace returns and he says, Obey immediately. Horace asks his father for the whole story, and his father says she should be whipped anyway. Since Mrs. Dinsmore was the one there for the majority of it, he defers to his wife and she, of course, makes it out to be more dramatic than it is. Horace admits that he doesn’t agree with Elsie’s notions about this appropriate for Sabbath business; however, Enna needs to understand that Elsie is not to be forced to do anything just because Enna wants her to do it. Dinsmore senior agrees, but says that Elsie was impertinent and contradicted him (which, she was trying to explain, and he cut her off, but of course, he doesn’t tell the story that way). In Dinsmore’s telling, Elsie was extremely saucy, and this immediately gets Horace’s ire up. As he is going to his room, however, he realizes that he should also get Elsie’s version of events, as it’s only fair.

He says he’s very sorry to hear that she has been so bad, and she must be punished. She starts to cry (40). He wants her side of the story, so she tells him, and she adds that, if her grandfather had allowed her to continue, she wanted to say that it wasn’t that she was unwilling to oblige Enna, she was afraid she was doing wrong by it.

He says that much depends on tone of voice, so depending on how she actually said the words would determine how “saucy” she had been; but her words themselves were not very respectful, and she must never set up her opinion against her elders, and to NEVER try it with him. She asks if she is going to be punished, and he says yes, but first she must go to her grandfather and beg his pardon and forgiveness. She cries (41) because she doesn’t know what to say, so he tells her the best way to do it, and then they go downstairs and she sobs out the words her father told her. Dinsmore senior sez, I must forgive you, of course – well, damn – and then says he hopes his son will still punish her.

Horace says that he will punish her as she deserves, which frightens little naïve Elsie, and she starts to cry . . . again (42). He explains once they get into his room that he means that she is getting just punishment – in this instance, staying in his room with him for company until bedtime, no tea with the others, and a Bible lesson for her to learn – so in other words, all things that are not a punishment to this little drip.

Horace watches her bent over her Bible, and sighs that he could be half as good and pure as she is. He goes down to tea and has a tray sent up to her – unlike the bread and water incident, it’s a plate of hot bread, coffee, and a piece of chicken. Pompey says that Horace told him if she wants more, all she has to do is ring. Later, she says she was surprised that he let her have those things, and he says that he generally doesn’t, as a rule, but for once, he decided to indulge her – not for her backtalk to her grandparents, but for having to deal with Enna’s bullshit. Elsie meekly says that she doesn’t mind it; that’s how it’s always been here. Once again, her dimwit father is astonished that this is the first he’s heard of it.

He says that his father and stepmother would probably have preferred that he make her obey Enna’s whims, but she can choose to indulge or not, as is her wont. However, if HE had bid her to tell that fairytale, she would not be allowed to disobey. He tells her that he dislikes these sorts of notions she has, and if they ever butt up against HIS wishes, they’re going to have to be given up. She asks him to never bid her to do wrong, and he says that is never his intention, but he is also the judge of everything for she is still a little girl yet, and cannot judge for herself on anything, and can only obey unquestioningly. Cool story bro.

She recites her lesson to him and when she’s done, she exclaims about how beautiful it all is – that Jesus loved his disciples so much, and that he loves everyone even to the end. Horace asks if she is good enough for Jesus to love her and she replies that she knows she is not good, but that’s okay, because Jesus died to save sinners. And she was so sad and lonely and heart-broken, that without Jesus’ love, she might have died. Horace wonders when she was that lonely and she tells him about her fervent wishes to see him when he was away the first eight years of her life, and then even when he arrived and he didn’t love her, she wished she could go to Jesus and her mother. And she cries (43). Horace is moved and wonders aloud how he could have been so cruel to his own child, but he says that he had been prejudiced – yeah, by your own family, so why would you believe any fucking shit they say? Elsie says that she has always loved him.

That night in her room, Elsie prays that she might never have to break God’s commands.

Chapter cry count: 5

There’s a party at Roselands. On the Sabbath, no less; so not a very holy enterprise for the Lord’s day. Anyway, one of the guests is looking for Elsie, as he had heard from Travilla that she’s very talented and was hoping to hear her play and sing. Horace turns to summon Elsie, but his step-mother stops him, saying it’s no use calling her, as she will not do it. He says, it’s my child and she will do what I bid her to do. She has never gone against my authority before and she won’t do it now, and he pulls the bell to send a message to Elsie.

Horace is a prideful fuck, so now, waiting for Elsie, he suddenly remembers that it’s the Sabbath and he knows how she feels about these “worldly” things on that day. However, he knows that she will obey her father, and this was bound to happen at some point, so may as well get it over with.

When the summons comes, Elsie is perturbed, as she has a sinking feeling what it’s about. She prays for strength before she goes down to the drawing-room. Horace says he wants her to sing this song; she begs off for the next day. He says she knows it quite well. She says it’s not about that, it’s about the Sabbath. He says, Well, I consider this song perfectly proper for today, so that means it isn’t wrong, because I say so. Also, I bid you obey; no more of this. She says once again that she cannot break the Sabbath; he says that he is making the judgment call for her and it is not a sin or whatever. Some of the guests say that tomorrow is fine, and even Adelaide says she can play it instead. Horace shuts this all down and says that when he gives his child a command, it must be obeyed, and she is not to set her opinion against his.

Elsie sits at the piano and cries (44). He tells her that she is to sit there until she obeys him. They all leave the piano, Mrs. Dinsmore crowing quietly that she knew this is how it would go down. Horace says it isn’t over yet, and Elsie will learn that his will is stronger than hers.

Elsie sits at the high, uncomfortable piano bench; no one comes to talk to her but she sees them glancing her way every so often, which makes her uncomfortable. She is also sad about her father’s displeasure and worries that now he will withdraw his love. Her head aches so she leans forward and rests her head on the piano. She is like this for TWO HOURS. Travilla comes over and says that he’s sorry for her, but she should just obey her father. He is very strong-willed and he is not going to be conquered. It’s better to sing the song; in five minutes, your trouble will be over.

She thanks him for his sympathy but says that Jesus says anyone who loves their parents more than him is not worthy of him. She can’t disobey Jesus, even for her mortal father. Travilla doesn’t understand how this is disobeying God, and she quotes the passage from Isaiah that says, “If thou turn away thy foot from the Sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on My holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honorable, and shalt honor Him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words,” etc., etc. She takes this to mean that all day must be spent in studying God’s word, or in worship or praise of him, and this song her father wants her to sing has nothing to do with any of that. Travilla says it’s just a little thing; how could god be angry about that? Elsie is astonished; there is no such thing as a little sin. The man who picked up sticks on the Sabbath was condemned to death by god; and that was a small thing, right?

I find it interesting that Finley likes to cherry-pick her Old Testament, but didn’t Jesus do away with a lot of these arbitrary things?

Anyway, Travilla tries to intercede for Elsie, but Horace isn’t having it. She MUST be subdued; his will is law. Dinsmore senior says that she needs to understand from the first that “you are to be master,” ugh. Travilla says that he thinks a parent has no right to coerce a child into doing violence to its conscience. Horace says this is nonsense; she’s too young to judge for herself in these matters, she has no opinion. If I want to fuck with my own child’s mind, that’s my right to do.

The original guy who wanted the song feels really bad now and asks Adelaide if there’s any way to make this right. But there is no moving Horace – his will is law, haven’t you heard?

Another hour goes by, and now it’s time for tea. Horace asks if she’s ready to obey; she says no. He says well, you need to keep sitting there, and no food, either. You’re making yourself miserable, to be sure, but you are also mortifying me in front of company. Boohoo fucker. But Elsie, because she loves her prick of a father so very much, is upset by this and cries a little (45).

Most of the company has now wandered out of the drawing-room area, and the room is dimly lit because they’ve rather forgotten about her – it’s been hours. At length, Elsie blacks out and falls from her seat, hitting her head very near her temple, which starts bleeding. Travilla calls his friend a brute as he picks the little girl up and places her on a sofa. One of the guests is a doctor and he helps to dress the wound. Meanwhile, Horace is shitting a brick because it takes a while for her to regain consciousness and he’s afraid she has died. The first words she utters when she regains consciousness are “Are you angry with me?” She is a bit disoriented so at first doesn’t remember what happened, but then she is distressed and her father tries to reassure her that all is well. They carry her to her room, but she insists on saying her prayers on her knees, otherwise she can’t go to sleep.

He asks her when she’s finished why she asked that he might love Jesus; she says that it would make him happy and also, the Bible says he can’t go to heaven otherwise. He challenges her, and says, Well, how do you know I don’t love Jesus? And she replies that he wouldn’t make her break his commandments if he did. (Which again, was that a commandment from Jesus? Don’t think so). She tells her papa that she loves him very much, but when asked, Jesus is first in her life, then him. This does not sit well with him.

The next morning, she’s feeling much better, and her father says that she was very nearly killed last night; if the wound had been any closer to her eye, he would be daughterless. She asks if he would have been very sorry. He says that she is more precious to him than anything in the world. She’s glad that he loves her that much, but she also admits that, if it had been her time to go to heaven, she was ready. For Jesus is there, and her dear mamma. Okay, morbid little child.

Elsie is reading the Bible outside and cries over it (46). This is how Travilla comes upon her and he asks what could possibly be in the Bible to affect her like that, and she says how Jesus was so badly treated and all because of our sins. Travilla admits that he never really thought about any of these things before and Elsie is sorry that he doesn’t love Jesus. Why does she care? Travilla asks. Elsie says Because if he doesn’t love Jesus, he will never be saved. Travilla kind of jokingly says that he has time to repent before he dies. Elsie says how do you know you have time? Which, she isn’t wrong. She tells him that she came near to being killed last night, and asked where he thinks she’d be, if she didn’t love Jesus. Travilla says she’s a sweet little girl so she can’t possibly go to the bad place. Elsie is very grave and says, No, doesn’t matter; without Jesus, it’s hellfire for you.

Horace asks for Elsie’s presence in the drawing-room, and entreats her to play the song. And she does, and everyone loves her performance. And Horace is very tender towards her, realizing how easily he could have lost her.

Chapter cry count: 3.

Elsie is sad because her papa is not a Christian and has no real love for Jesus. If she reads from the Bible, it’s not for his pleasure in hearing but only to make her happy. She cries about this in secret and prays for him all the time.

One night, she’s sitting on his knee while he is conversing with some other men about religion. They are debating whether a change of heart is necessary to salvation, and the consensus is no. This pains Elsie, especially when her father says that as long as a person is honest and lives a moral life, and pays outward lip service to religious observance, they should be safe from hellfire. One of the guests who disagrees with Horace sees Elsie’s face and entreats her to speak. She gets drawn into the conversation and talks of being born again and how to change one’s heart, blah blah blah. Mrs. Dinsmore is annoyed that everyone seems to be listening to Elsie, a mere child, with such patience and interest, so she tells her she’s talked quite enough and tells all the children it’s bedtime. Horace says she only needs to go if she would like to do so, and she does, and leaves.

The man that was conversing with Elsie tells Horace that she is very bright and any father would be proud of her. Travilla concurs. Horace is pleased.

Next morning, Horace comes upon Elsie reading her Bible, and he asks her if she ever tires of looking at it. She says, no, she always finds something new, and asks if she can read some to him. She reads from the gospel of John and when she asks if Jesus wasn’t a wonderful gift to mankind, he answers her distractedly. She asks if he believes the Bible and when he says he does, she asks, doesn’t this chapter say that we have to love Jesus and have new hearts to be ready for heaven? He says yes, but then says he was very pleased with her intelligent answers to his guest last evening. This makes her sad and he thinks she is so odd, because that was praise and she’s upset about it. She begins to cry (46) and says that she wants him to love Jesus. Oh, is that all? He says, as if she asked him to pick up milk from the store. Then he takes her to the garden and has a conversation with some of the adults out there, while she picks a bouquet for Adelaide.

Chapter cry count: 1.

Elsie is distracted and Adelaide notices and asks her what’s up. Christmas is coming soon and Elsie wants to give her father a lovely present, but she can’t think of one. Adelaide suggests a miniature portrait, and promises to help her get it done without his knowledge. Adelaide finds out that Horace will be gone for a week or two, so that gives them time to make plans about the picture. Elsie is sad that her papa will be gone so long. And then sad again that she doesn’t have enough money saved for the gift; Adelaide promises to lend her some, but Elsie says her father told her never to be in debt to others.

Next morning, Horace tells her of his plans and then gives her some extra pocket money – fifty dollars, which was a lot of money back then – for Christmas gifts. She’s very sad and needy when he leaves next day, and he almost regrets leaving her at home. She cries (47) as if he’s leaving forever. Then she goes and cries to Chloe after the carriage pulls away. Elsie starts catastrophizing – the steamboat’s boiler could burst, or the train could be run off the track, or or or. Chloe calms her with some scripture, and then Adelaide takes her out for a shopping trip.

The next morning, there are two letters for Elsie – one from her father, and one from Rose. Elsie reads her father’s letter first, and she answers it. He writes her a letter every day he is gone and soon, one arrives saying his return is scheduled for that afternoon. She runs out to the carriage before it has even stopped and they reunite like they haven’t seen each other for years, instead of a fortnight. Elsie has had the fire in Horace’s room lit, and placed his slippers and dressing-gown nearby to warm; they sit in his room by themselves for a bit to catch up. Miss Day is gone for the holidays, and while Horace is fine with her having a vacation, he intends to set her some lessons, as well, which nerdy little Elsie is fine with. She’s having lots of company coming in, as well, and while she enjoys seeing all these people, they tend to stay long and it’s tiring – can’t disagree – but also she enjoys alone time with just her sweet loving papa.

One of the trunks that have just been brought in is new – it’s hers, and inside are some gifts: a hat trimmed with feathers, and some silk dresses, and a pelisse, which is a little capelet type thing to wear over the dresses. He entreats her to go try one on to make sure it fits, and it does. He wants her to wear one of the dresses tomorrow and her new accessories, and she says that she might be thinking of them in church if she wears them there. Horace is annoyed by this notion and says this “squeamishness” is something that really bugs him about her. Eventually she’ll get over it and “be all I wish.” These lines are so vaguely creepy. Elsie, however, sees this as a sign that she doesn’t love Jesus as much as she used to, and it makes her cry (48). Later, he wonders at what a strange child she is and how he still doesn’t fully understand his own flesh and blood.

Elsie takes her fears and thoughts to Jesus and doesn’t even think about her new clothes because she’s worried about her conscience. After church, she tries to go to her room, but Horace wants her to sit with him. He puts her on his knee and then picks up his book, which pains Elsie when she sees that it’s a novel and not appropriate for the Sabbath, but of course, she can’t tell her father any of this. After a while, she asks to be excused to her room, so that she can spend a little time with her best friend on the Sabbath; he doesn’t understand how she can have a better friend then her own father and also, that she can love Jesus more than him. He says fine, go away then if this is a punishment to you to sit with me, but she says she will be back shortly, and she returns with her Bible and Pilgrim’s Progress. When it gets too dark to read, he tells her to put the book away; she asks to finish the paragraph she’s reading, and he says No, obey immediately.

She asks him if he has read Pilgrim’s Progress and as he had not read it since he was a boy, he asks her what it’s about, and she tells him. He proclaims it foolish but then she explains the spiritual idea of the story and he is surprised at the depth of her knowledge. Then he says that she reads too many gloomy and dull things and he wants her to be merry and happy. She begs not to be forbidden to read them; they don’t make her unhappy.

After tea, they go back to his room, and he asks her to sing some hymns, and then they read the Bible together, and then she asks him to pray with her like Miss Rose used to; he admits that he doesn’t know how. This makes her cry (49) and she runs to her room, praying that her father will learn to love Jesus and pray to him, too. She gets into bed, and her father comes in, saying that he wants to sit with her until she goes to sleep; he lets her recite some verses to him that she had wanted to do before, but there wasn’t time.

It’s a poem about Jesus and religion and stuff – there’s a footnote from Finley that says she doesn’t know the author or where they were originally published. I wonder if she made them up herself, even though she claims they aren’t hers, either.

Anyway, Elsie says that she wants to be like Jesus and then everyone will know she belongs to him. Horace says, No, you belong to ME, and then says she’s not to fight him on that, and to go to bed. She goes to sleep fairly quickly, and he watches her, thinking she’s too good for this earth and he fears he will lose her before her time.

Chapter cry count: 3.

Elsie awakes, eager to have a morning walk with her father before breakfast, when she will have to entertain her young friends who have arrived to spend the holidays with her. After she gets ready, she goes to her father’s room and he sits with her by the fire for a bit before they go outside for their walk. Elsie is so very happy and her father says he wishes he could always make her so, but that’s not always true, and she knows this. But Jesus is her true bosom friend, so that always makes her happy. Horace wonders that every thought is for Jesus, or goes straight back to Jesus. That’s because she loves him so. Yes, Horace thinks, jealously, better than she loves her own father. He wishes that he could be everything to her, as she is to him.

They go back to the house and have breakfast; then Elsie practices some piano and then studies for an hour with her father. They take a horseback ride, and then some of the guests have arrived. Caroline Howard, one of Elsie’s friends, is there; they have not seen each other in nearly a year so have a lot to catch up on. Caroline was visiting her relatives, and of course, Elsie has her story of her father coming home and finally being so happy and cared for. Caroline tells Elsie her hair is so pretty and wishes she’d give her one of her curls; Caroline wants to have a bracelet made for her mother and she thinks Elsie’s hair color is just perfect. Elsie lets her cut off a ringlet. They want to go into the city so that Carry can have the bracelet made, but her father can’t take her and they’re too young to go with just Pompey or Ajax; he’ll take them tomorrow. Elsie tries to coax him and he admonishes her for doing so; when he says no, she is NOT to ask again. Adelaide offers to take them into the city herself.

Elsie had wanted to purchase some things for the “servants” in the house, but she is short a bit of money; as her father is handing her into the carriage, he puts $20 in her hand.

It’s dark when they get back, and Horace is fretting a bit because they’ve been gone so long. Adelaide says he has NO idea how long it takes to go shopping, obviously. Haha. They bring the bundles in, and Horace throws his daughter over his shoulder and carries her upstairs. She shows her father some of her purchases. Then he makes her write down all the purchases in her book and the prices of everything.

After tea, the children play some games, and while most of them are afraid of Horace at first, he readily enters into their games and they relax with him. Soon, however, it is time for bed and even though her little friends beg her father to let her stay up longer, he says rules are rules, even during holidays. Elsie sweetly assents and goes to bed. She tells him she loves him very much, especially because he doesn’t let her have her own way and makes her keep to rules. He tucks her in for the night and she goes to sleep.

Chapter cry count: 0. This might be the only chapter where this occurs!

Elsie is bright and rosy next morning, compared to some of her little guests who stayed up too late and are now a bit peevish and irritable. Carry says Horace told them that Elsie will be allowed to stay up until 9:30 that night because of Christmas.

Elsie says she’ll be gone for the second hour because of her lesson with her father, and one of the other children, Mary, is surprised that Elsie is still doing lessons during holidays. Elsie quietly says that she actually enjoys spending the time learning and of course, being alone with her father.

After the lesson, Elsie discovers that the Carringtons have arrived. Elsie and Lucy haven’t seen each other since Lucy was at Roselands in the summertime. Herbert is also very happy to see Elsie; he’s still pretty weak and must sit a lot.

All the kids look to Elsie to play camp counselor; she provides them with entertainment, and then has to break up a disagreement with Enna and one of the guests, named Flora. Enna took Flora’s blocks, so Elsie gives her one of her dolls to keep the peace. Elsie goes back to playing jack-stones and then her father tells her to go to his dressing-room immediately. He sounds pissed and she’s confused why he would be so she asks why and he says, Because I bid you. The other girls wonder why he’s angry; Carry thinks it must be something to do with her lessons.

No, the real reason is – she was sitting on the floor. She was sitting on the floor to play a game, but sitting on the floor is unladylike and slovenly, and apparently, he told her this once a long time ago, but she forgot and so that’s why he is mad at her. Forgetting is not an excuse for disobedience, sez Horace. She also asked why and she should never do that, so she was “naughty” twice in one day. He forgives her and then says she can go back downstairs, but she is not to play jack-stones again. No, you said she is not to sit on the floor – don’t change the rules, fucko.

Elsie returns to find her doll’s head has been broken, as Enna is a little bitch, and she tried to snatch it from Flora, but it fell on the floor instead. The housekeeper promises to help mend it and then puts some of the food Elsie is allowed to eat on her plate. Mary, the one who said lessons during holidays is awful, wants to know if her father ever lets her eat anything good. Elsie defends her father saying that he decides what’s in her best interest. Lucy asks why she got sent away and Elsie begs her not to ask, knowing that Lucy is just looking for an excuse to say something uncharitable about her father – which, come on, Elsie, even though it’s sunshine and roses now, your father’s previous abuses don’t just get swept away.

The girls decide to take a walk after their meal and then after their dinner in the nursery, they are taken down to the drawing-room, where Elsie meets a very fashionable woman who starts flattering her and gloms on to her. She has been flirting with Horace and apparently feels that this is the way to get into his good graces, by being obnoxiously saccharine to his only child. She leaves the room to get ready for a ride with the other ladies of the house, and Elsie and her father talk about Miss Stevens annoying flattery. Elsie quotes some Bible verses and says she will stay away from the lady as much as she can. Horace ruminates that that book is able to preserve his child from evil influences.

Lucy wants to go outside and check out the ladies’ riding finery; the others follow her out, except for Elsie who stands at the foot of the stairs. She says her father will not let her outside without a wrap or something to cover her neck and arms, for it is quite cold. This unpleasantness is soon forgotten as the little ones prep some decorations for the Christmas tree. After tea, the drawing-room doors are thrown open and the Christmas tree has been decorated and adorned with tapers, and plenty of toys and goodies underneath.

Elsie gets some nice little gifts from her aunts and her young friends, and then, from her father, a DIAMOND RING. She goes to thank him and he asks if she would rather have had any other gift, and she says, yes, his miniature. He promises it at a later date. Elsie is given a bundle of candy; her father says that she cannot have any tonight, and tomorrow, only the cream-candy and the rock candy, but everything else is unwholesome.

Elsie ends up staying awake until ten and then her father sends her to bed; she goes merrily, pleased that he let her stay up so long.

Chapter cry count: 0. Again!

The next morning, Elsie gets up early, and sneaks into her father’s room to place the miniature in a place where he can’t fail to see it when he wakes up. Chloe is pleased with the shawl Elsie bought for her, and the others were also pleased with their gifts. She wants to go see her father, but Chloe advises her to wait a little while yet. Elsie sits down to read and then Chloe clasps a gold chain around her neck; it’s her father’s miniature. She puts her father’s and mother’s pictures side by side, and Chloe is a bit broken up, remembering the older Elsie.

Her father is delighted by her miniature as well, and they have their lesson as usual; then her father goes out early and Elsie goes in search of her guests, when Miss Stevens calls to her and entreats her to come into her room. Miss Stevens has a bunch of expensive candy and tries to give some to Elsie. Elsie kindly refuses it and says her father will not allow her to have it; Miss Stevens says oh, one or two pieces won’t hurt you, and your father doesn’t need to know. God would know. And she can’t lie to her own father, either! Miss Stevens laughs and says she’s making this way too serious. Then she tries to give Elsie a very expensive book with beautiful engravings; despite Elsie really liking the look of the book, she tries to refuse it, but Miss Stevens won’t hear of it, and says she would be very hurt if Elsie didn’t accept it, so Elsie does and thanks her. Elsie says the stories look really nice, and she should like to read them, but she would have to show her father the book first. Miss Stevens says that Horace seems very strict, and wonders to herself if he would do the same to a potential wife.

Miss Stevens suggests that she read TO Elsie instead, and Elsie is shocked and says, No, that’s just as wrong and excuses herself. She finds her young friends, Carry complaining that she has not gotten the bracelet yet, and then they all go for a walk. When she comes back, she finds that her father has returned and she runs down to greet him. Miss Stevens is sitting there talking to him, so she has to wait. Finally, he’s free, so she picks up the book and goes to him. She tells him where the book came from and he flips through it and then says, she can look at the pictures, but not the stories; they are “unsuitable” for a girl her age, and not good reading for anyone. Which means . . . what, exactly? Are they fluffy stories with no substance? I’m sure they’re not salacious, I don’t think Miss Stevens was trying to give Elsie what passed for pornography in those days . . . Elsie smiles, puts the book down, and walks out of the room. Miss Stevens is vexed, overhearing this little exchange; her intention for coming to Roselands was to bag Horace, and this doesn’t seem to be going so well. The daughter is immune to flattery and he didn’t approve of her gift; not to worry, she has charm and beauty, so perhaps that might be enough.

Elsie runs out into the hall and is caught by Travilla who kisses her cheeks and then asks what she’s going to give him. Ew. He says he just wants one hug and kiss; her father surely gets more than that in a day. Then he says, “I wish you were ten years older.” EW. He gives her a gold thimble. She thanks him and then lets him into the drawing-room, showing her father the little gift. Horace is pleased and says that her friends are very kind; his gaze includes Miss Stevens, so she holds out hope that she’s not out of the running yet.

The children come down for dessert later, and Miss Stevens tries to have Elsie sit next to her, but Travilla sweeps her up and puts her on his knee. Later, Travilla takes Elsie and her little friends on a carriage ride. When they return, Elsie goes to her room, expecting to find Chloe, but she is not there, so Elsie goes in search of her; near the kitchen, she can overhear the cook and a few of the other enslaved people who work in the house talking about Horace and “that bit of paint and finery,” meaning Miss Stevens, of course. They’re arguing about whether Miss Stevens has her hooks in Horace yet. Pompey asks, If he doesn’t like her, why do they keep going for rides together every afternoon, hmm? And sitting with her all the time? The cook says Horace has more sense than that. Pompey says essentially that Horace is young and still good-looking, so it only makes sense that he would marry again at some point. Elsie, never even considering the fact that her father might be looking for a wife, is stunned to the quick, and runs back to her bedroom.

Chloe comes back to find Elsie on her bed, quiet, yet restless and seeming feverish. Chloe figures it might be all the excitement and fatigue from the holidays and all the guests and such. Her little friends think she’s a little bit off, too, when she rejoins them, but everyone is a bit tuckered out from the excitement of the last few days. Elsie goes looking for her father and sees him at the piano with Miss Stevens; she’s playing and he is turning the pages of the sheet music for her. This bothers Elsie, and she finds it hard to concentrate on what Mrs. Carrington is saying to her. Travilla saw her come in and follows her gaze and troubled look, making his best guess at what is ailing her. He knows that his friend Horace has no intention of getting with Miss Stevens and he wishes he could tell Elsie that, but it seems too delicate a subject, so instead, he gets all the little girls together and tells them stories and plays charades with them.

Elsie does her best to join in, but keeps getting distracted by her father and Miss Stevens. When it’s bedtime, Elsie quietly slips away to her room and says nothing to anyone. She cries quietly as she goes (50) and then prays to be rid of the dislike she feels for Miss Stevens. She wonders if her father will come in to say goodnight before she goes to sleep, but he completely forgets about her until 10pm and looks around, expecting that she’s still there, but then Lucy tells him that she must have gone to bed because no one has seen her for the last two hours. Horace wonders that she didn’t come to say goodnight and he goes out into the hall.

Travilla follows him out and tells him that Elsie was watching him with a very sad expression. Horace is vexed and says he won’t have people filling his child’s head with tales. As Travilla, even though he’s a perv, rightly says, people talk, and children have eyes and ears, too. Horace hastily bids his friend goodnight and bounds up the stairs to Elsie’s room. She is asleep but she has been crying (51). He wants to tell her not to worry, but he doesn’t want to wake her, so he kisses her cheek and quietly quits the room.

Chapter cry count: 2.

This is the end of book 1, and as you can see, it’s a bit of a cliffhanger. Will Horace stop harassing his daughter? Will Travilla stop being a creep? Tune in next time, for the not-so-thrilling sequel to Elsie Dinsmore, Holidays at Roselands.

Well, that’s the show. Please like, subscribe, rate, all that good stuff. The Forgotten Library is available on most podcast aggregators. There’s a Twitter account, which I try to post on, and also a Facebook page. Transcripts and source materials are available on the website, and if you enjoy what I do and would like to show some appreciation, you can Buy Me a Coffee – think of it as a little tip jar that takes Paypal and Stripe. Links for all of this are in the show description.

Until next time, I’m Nikki Gee, your intrepid library haunter.